matilda-'s Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- that much hated letter I turn on the phone and there it is... He's written me. Not once, but twice. The first is a reply to something, so I feel it's safe to read it. As it turns out, it's a reply to something my cousin sent him today, something he felt he needed to copy me and Tori. The next one is titled "the much hated letter". Now what I'm thinking is its really "the much DREADED letter". It's a 1k, quick and painless? Maybe quick, not painless. So I won't read it. Or maybe it's nothing. What is it we often say to eachother? "Do what you have to do". The problem with reading that email is that most likely, and I'm speaking from past experience, there's something in there that's going to royaly piss me off. It might be one thing, might be more. It might be more rehashing of the past two years, trying to get together, my shit popping up. But it will be something. "Something" will piss me off. I'm not giving "something" the chance to piss me off. I won't die if I let it sit in my inbox. No, in fact it might just keep me from rising blood pressure, stress headaches, ulcers. Tears. God no, I don't want to cry. So for now it will sit there. Somewhere down the road I'm sure there will be a right time. But not now, not today, conceivably not for a long while. A good scrubbing of the inner me. Take care of me. 15:29 - Thursday, Jun. 06, 2002 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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